forty two

Dear B,

I guess I've made a pretty comfy space for you, eh? At least, I hope you're comfortable. One of us should be.
We are really, really excited to meet you, but at this point it's hard to believe that you're actually going to join us and make us a family of 5!
We aren't a perfect family. We yell. And fight. And sometimes we're loud and rude. But your oldest brother, Noah? He's incredibly helpful. He'll teach you how to build amazing things out of Lego and give you lots of really big pushes on the swing when you're big enough. He's also really ticklish so I'm just giving you a heads up when the wrestling matches begin with him.
And your other big brother Jude? He's funny. And silly. And he's the one who's been telling you lots of stories while you've been cooking inside of me.
Both of your brothers are great cuddlers and will give you lots of hugs and kisses and are so incredibly excited to meet you and show you all of the new toys you have!
Your Daddy is the best man I have ever known. He loves Jesus. And sports. And he'll teach you all the Manchester United anthems as well as every and any sports statistic you're interested in hearing about. I can't think of a better role model for you to aspire to be like.
And me? Well, I'm your Mama. I've been wishing and hoping and praying for you for a long time. Even before I knew you were inside of me. I have a feeling you are to be the last child I'll have grown inside my belly and so while this waiting and waiting and waiting for you has at times been really frustrating, I've also tried to savour every kick and punch and flip-flop that you've made inside of me. Because you have been moving a lot and I know I'll miss these feelings that only I get to experience with you once you make your appearance in this big, wide world.
I will cuddle and kiss you and breathe you in and sing you sweet songs. I will rock you and nurse you in the middle of the night. I will pray sweet blessings over you as well as warrior prayers.

However and whenever you come, I'm trusting God to protect you and bring you to us in the exact time and way He has planned.
Above all, I want you to know that you are loved. Not just by us, but by Jesus. I will do everything I can to share with you how much He loves you and what a joy it is to know Him and live your life following after Him.
I love you, baby B.
Please come soon!

with a heart that continues to grow with love for you,
Mama

41 weeks

one gorgeous week overdue.
I admit. I went through many phases this week. acceptance. grouchiness. anger. frustration. desperation.
I've walked up and down our gigantic hill in our compound a bunch of times. I ate bowls of pineapple. I've paced and swayed and had lovely hot showers and crawled around on my hands and knees. I've done the "needful" with jamie.

if you don't like words like "mucus" and "blood" stop reading now. you've been warned.

I was getting a bit discouraged because unlike my other two pregnancies, I hadn't lost my mucus plug yet or lost much mucus at all. with noah I lost my mucus plug 4 days before he was born. with jude I think it was 2 days. to me, it's been somewhat of a "sign" that things are happening. so to not see it is discouraging.
this morning I've lost a bit of mucus which is a good thing. hopefully things will pick up.

right now there's a student meeting/retreat going on in our living room today; I can hear the clapping and singing and laughter and it makes me smile. baby B may not show up today, but if he does, he'll have a warm reception, that's for sure.

my latest plan that will likely not come to fruition;
if I am still pregnant on Monday, I will go to the hospital a couple hours early, get my ultrasound scan done and then meet with my doctor for my appointment with him at 11:30. as long as all is well with me and baby B I am going to push for the doctor to give me a stretch and sweep, since I've completed my full dosage of antibiotics {as he was concerned that I was GBS+ and didn't want to possibly push any bacteria further up and infect baby B}. I'm also going to push that I am not induced by any drugs until at least 42 weeks, as long as baby is okay. and depending on which dates he is going by, this could be either next Saturday (the 15th) or as late as the following Wednesday (the 19th!) depending on which dates my doctor is going by.

But let's all hope and pray that I announce the arrival of baby B before Monday at 11:30!